Apr 11, 20212 min read

I'M LONELY BUT ALSO DON'T LIKE PEOPLE, BUT I LOVE PEOPLE

Dear diary, I feel like I can't keep up with things. Everything is just a little too much. I need to focus more on one thing at a time again. There are so many things I want to be doing that I stress out and freeze and get massive anxiety which makes me completely unable to do anything at all. So yeah one step at a time, dude. One step at a freakin' time...

If you haven't realized already: I am stressing too much. Like waaaay too much.

I should just give myself permission to feel down, and frustrated, and all over the place.

Maybe I should go for a walk or something. But dammit I don't even feel like getting out of bed. My thoughts are paralyzing me. But if I want to make this life thing work I need to start doing things differently.

It's a bit lonely these days. But at the same time, I feel completely socially drained. How can you complain about being lonely if you hide from people all day and try to talk as little as possible with everyone you meet? I'm a walking paradox.

"HEY I'M KATHY, I'M LONELY AND I WANT FRIENDS PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME THO."

Also, even though I told myself to stop crushing on people all the time, (Honestly, this is some toxic obsessive disorder I have or something) I am crushing on a freaking Youtuber at the moment, from the states, who doesn't even know I exist. And my flatmate maybe, but honestly we got nothing in common. Oh yeah and that chic I went on a date on a couple of weeks ago...

LIKE WTF KATHY? ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE NOW?

Anyway, just another normal day in my life I guess.